Found on r/AskReddit.
1. Was pregnant
It adeptness not adding because I was massively abounding but I woke up in the boilerplate of the night, caked an complete box of Biscuit Toast Crunch into a big canteen bowl, threw in a bag of marshmallows, drizzled it with broiled adulate and again put it in the broil to baker the marshmallows. I again watched Dexter for 2 hours and ate the able action while crying.
2. “Honey, I’m traveling to…the gym…”
Okay I acquire the complete chance for this.
I told my wife I was traveling to the gym, but somehow I assured up traveling to Mcdonald’s instead.
I ate my cheeseburgers in a parking lot, and waited a little while until it seemed connected abounding for a workout.
When I got home, I caked admit on my able and shirt to accessory like I had been sweating.
That is the complete saddest and fattest action I acquire anytime done.
3. The argumentation in this one
I ate bisected of a block already if I should acquire abandoned one piece. I was ashamed and didn’t ambition anyone to know, so I able the cake, broiled a able new one, afflicted myself to eat the one acclimatized piece.
Then I barfed in the boilerplate of dinner.
4. What did you DOI already ate about an complete brazier of those cheese affirmation again I sat there in my orange abashing assimilation on the choices I’ve made.
5. Sounds gross
Ever heard of a Scotch egg? I achieve a ambrosia acclimation appliance balm block captivated about a Cadbury egg and bottomless fried. Served with buttercream frosting as “gravy”. It’s in achievement delicious, but anybody aural a 10 exhausted abuttals gets diabetes
6. No regrets
I ate two pans of brownies in below than an hour. I didn’t even realise that I’d eaten that abounding until I saw the two abandoned pans.
7. The cold in fact bogus this one
Bought a dozen abounding angel fritters, ate 11, puked, ate #12, napped.
8. Angrily ate it
Got the awry acclimation from a southern chicken restaurant declared Zaxby’s, ate it angrily, again accumulating to the abutting city-limits and went to THAT Zaxby’s, ordered it again, got the adapted order, and again ate that angrily, too. It bulk me about $17, not counting gas. It wasn’t even good.
Did the above action with a pizza, that one bulk me about $32.
I acquire to be descended from some fat, babyish aloof who couldn’t handle an unsatisfying meal and befuddled his poor cooks.
9. Over 2700 calories in one sitting
I already ordered a 20 breadth McNugget from McDonald’s, and able there were in achievement abandoned 19 nuggets. I was in a pissy amore already, so I went ashamed and bogus a big accordance out of it, and they gave me a able new 20 piece, abolishment me with 39 complete nuggets, all of which I ate in one sitting.
10. So abounding food
Anniversary time. Wife and I airing four blocks down the acropolis to the Address of Prime Rib. We gorge on meat meat meat meat meat meat meat. Oh yeah, there’s a blossom and we eat that too. Groaning with pleasure, we bedrock out of the restaurant. Accessory up the hill. We can see our apartment. I accessory at her. She looks at me. We array a cab.
11. This sounds delicious
A bifold hamburger, with the ends bogus of broiled cheese sandwiches.
Grilled Cheese Patty Bun Patty Broiled Cheese
I could in fact feel my arteries clogging.
12. The complete shank?
I ate a ham.
A able fucking ham.
13. To accession 8 pounds, you’d allegation to consume…about 28,000 caloriesI did what’s declared a bang-bang. I ate at two in fact absent restaurants, and had two abounding meals, ashamed to back. I saw it on an chance of Louie and apprehension it would be fun to try. It was, but I’d never do it again. I acquired eight pounds that day.
14. Following up to the bang-bang
I did this somewhat on draft already afterwards alehouse at a Chinese address and again a Mexican establishment. This is a alarming combination. The after-effects hit me on the way home. I assured up animate about 90 mph with one battle on the alembic and the added captivation my abject cheeks calm as tears streamed down my face. I was casting my belly into the air to get best advantage abut the unstoppable force authentic its way out of me. I pulled into my driveway on an angle with my driver’s accessory aperture abutting to my address aperture and didn’t adversity about closing any of them or shutting my car off as I sprinted in to the bathroom. I bogus it with no time to spare. It was a abounding victory.
15. Key and Peele did this
Phoning for pizza delivery. “It’s buy one get one chargeless today, sir.” So naturally, I pretend to case up to non-existent housemates to ask them if they ambition one, afore cogent the guy on the end of the fizz that, yes, “we” will crop two. Ate both in one sitting.
16. This would’ve been air-conditioned with added peopleGoing ashamed about seven years, apogee of depression, adherent was a complete psycho bitch, etc. One weekend, she was traveling to be out of boondocks and I acclimatized to acclimate a get calm with some friends. We agreed on a Friday atramentous and I planned the a lot of awesomest sexiest action there anytime was.
I didn’t ceremony for the achievement that as they were all wifed and children’d up, every alone one of them cold the absolute day of the event. All with cuntbag excuses like “The boyish is ill” or “the wife has a headache” or “I forgot I acquire to deathwatch up ancient tomorrow because wife’s parents are in boondocks that atramentous and I acquire to buy some shoes” or some fuckbollocks. If the abide one called, I didn’t even adjournment for the annual – cue a accession of texts about me accepting an asshole.
Shame. It would acquire been air-conditioned too! I had such abounding diplomacy for the evening.
In a depressive rage, I still ordered abounding pizza for 12 bodies with sides. I spent that Friday night with a accession of beer, 8 abounding Dominos pizzas, some movies I’d bought but not got about to seeing and beside on two 20x packs of Marlboro ciggies. I able the atramentous by absolution off about £200 annual of fireworks I’d bought for the occasion.
On the one hand, in a bashed berserk depressive rage, fireworks appear way cooler! Abnormally if the guy you bought them from was a able affectation dude and slid you a few rockets he in fact shouldn’t have! This is abnormally authentic if you’re at the date of saying, “I shouldn’t acquire had that abide pizza…” as in not “slice” of pizza.
Cue me at 2am, bashed in my ashamed yard, finishing the abide beer, in fact thinking… “As a person, I am fucked!”
I acceptance the morning afterwards was aswell my epiphanic moment. I was 23 years old, it was 8am, I’d gotten no sleep, I was casting up something constant in the ablution and some of it still resembled $.25 of pizza.
This was if I absitively that there was something majorly awry with my action and I had to do something about it. I’d had some thoughts about that before, but the fattest action I’ve anytime done is in fact that. 8 pizzas, about abounding beers, 40 cigarettes… and fireworks.
17. I’ve been cat-and-mouse for thisMy ex-husband.
18. Paula Deen’s signature dish
At a carnival a few years back, I had bottomless cool butter. I $.25 you not, it was a stick of adulate put in brew again bottomless cool with biscuit and sugar. I wallowed in my access aqueduct adversity afterwards.
19. It’s acquire though, Nutella is tasty
I already ate bisected a tub of ice chrism with a tablespoon of Nutella beforehand accompanying every affirmation because I ran out of amber syrup. I afterwards learnt of the comestible acceptable of Nutella, and realised that I acquire to acquire ingested a week’s allowance of saturated fats in one sitting.
20. If you haven’t done this, you haven’t lived
Went to Korean bbq and ate for 4 hours. In my defense, it was KBBQ.
21. What is awry with you?
I ate 10 breakfast burritos from McDonald’s over the beforehand of an hour on a fishing trip. I acquainted like a bendable serve accoutrement that was accidentally larboard on the next time I shat.
I’ve bashed a bond abounding of broiled adulate and beeline taco grease for like 75 cents for ceremony one.I could feel my amore struggling. But it was for money so it’s okay
22. What cine was that
I was action accompany at the theatre. They were astern so I bought extra-large absorbed and two abounding drinks, for all of us. Nobody came. I absolved out of that cine with bisected a booze and depression.
23. 60 hours? I’d say that meal was annual it
Ok so ashamed chance achievement I was animate at a McDonald’s while in top school. Able-bodied it was summer and I was animate in fact a bit could could cause we were absolute understaffed. Able-bodied my calendar was 6am- 6pm and one of my Co workers calendar was 6pm-6am (we were declared to amphitheater so it formed well). Anyway he comes in one day and says there is a ancestors emergency and he needs to leave for a few days. I say don’t adversity I’ll covering your changeabout go crop adversity of things. I formed from Monday morning at 6am to Wednesday night at 6pm so I formed 60 hours about non stop. (Note I had my accompany and ancestors crop me home so I could array and such but yeah it was hell) Anyway I get done with my abide changeabout and get told as a accede you for my plan I can achieve abolishment I can ahead of. I bogus a sandwich that contained:
6x pieces of bacon
4x analysis concoction patties
5x slices of swiss cheese
All topped off with mac sauce
I devoured it in in fact about 5 min and again got taken home by my ambassador breadth he offered and I affably acclimatized demography the next 2 weeks off haha.
24. Backhanded compliment
I ate a $20 feast for 2 at Chilis all by myself. My waitress said she was “impressed and disgusted.”
25. Basically an elote?I got acutely ardent one night and all I had at home was a jar of mayonnaise and a can of corn. I adulterated it and ate it all with a big fucking spoon.
26. This is not a pizza, it is a monster
Created a 9,000 Calorie pizza with some friends, we aperture it up and ceremony allocation had about 1,200 calories in each.
27. The diet coke bogus accumulated okay
One night – afterwards smoker a few bowls – I ordered Dominos.
I ate 16 Parmesan Bread Bites, 2 Medium BBQ Chicken Pizzas, and drank a 2 liter of Diet Coke.
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