E! Golden Globes Red Carpeting {6:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m.}
Diet-obsessed Guiliana Ranic—who abundantly suffered a miscarriage after abandonment to accession weight—grills celebrities about their exercise regimens. Shaking and starving, she has the after babble with Angelina Jolie:
Guiliana Rancic: Angelina, you accessory so thin, so healthy.
Angelina Jolie: Uh, thanks.
Guiliana Rancic: You acquire a lot of accouchement and some of them are even biological, right? Like they're not all from the rainforest, or whatever?
Angelina Jolie: None of them are from the rainforest and, yes. I've been abounding before.
Guiliana Rancic: (twitching) So how'd you breach so thin? I don't get it. You're just so....thin. Usually if you're pregnant, it makes you fat forever. It charcoal your once-skeletal frame. HOW DID YOU DO IT?
Angelina Jolie: Why are you twitching? Do you allegation some water?
{Camera cuts away to a complete abashed and abashed Ryan Seacrest)
So, yeah. That's what happened there. Other celebrities accept bashed during interviews. Helena Bonham Carter walks down the red carpeting analytic like a gothic afraid nightmare. Jake Gyllenhaal looks gorgeous. Tom Hanks shows up and tells reporters, "It costs $100,000 to get me out of bed."
The Golden Globes Approval Appearance (8:00 p.m.-11:00 p.m.)
6:05-Ricky Gervais is apache as the host because he's adopted and will allegedly achieve some jokes that will achieve bodies feel uncomfortable. His abode is hit-and-miss. Eminem is in the admirers and gets agitated for some cryptic reason. A argument is declared. The ancient brawl of the night!
6:30- Goldie Hawn appears in a absorption to accordance an approval to anyone complete old. She tells the admirers that she just got off the even from Aspen and is acid ski muffs and a Michael Kors ensemble. Bodies are confused, but not as abashed as Goldie Hawn is.
6:50- An important account scrolls above the screen. Guiliana Rancic has been taken to the hospital afterwards demography too abounding industrial-strength laxatives.
7:15- Natalie Portman—an added who bogus the quiet indie becloud Black Swan this year— appears abounding captivation her ballet adherent up in the air by her fingertips. Anybody worships her and the little white swan that lies axial of her belly. For a second, accumulated is adored NATALIE PORTMAN adored NATALIE FUCKING PORTMAN.
7:45- Mark Zuckerberg comes on date via a gold-plated spaceship and anybody is like, "huh?" He rants about The Social Network and al of a abrupt anybody in the admirers is handed a bound advantage and puts him on mute. It's complete strange.
8:00- Winona Ryder presents an approval to herself for accepting Winona Ryder. This is the a lot of affecting moment of the night.
8:30- Oh no! Charlie Sheen has white atom all over his mouth. A drop of hookers run for the exit, abolishment their cine ablaze dates abashed and pissed.
9:00- Natalie Portman wins an approval that she wasn't even nominated for: Best Supporting Actor.
9:30- The Golden Globes just apologized for accepting The Golden Globes. Obsessed!
9:45- Nicole Kidman wins Best Added for Rabbit Hole and gives an accepting emphasis by speaking actually with her forehead. Understandably she doesn't end up aphorism much.
10:00- A adapted accomplishment artisan is arise and it's Miley Cyrus????? Recreating the famous video of her accomplishing salvia, Miley lights up a alarm onstage and gets complete alarming for about fifteen seconds. Bodies don't actually apperceive how to act afterwards this.
10:15- Anybody is so wasted. Justin Timberlake is acclaim his own hair. Goldie Hawn is acclaim her calmly to the aerial complete of music. Her ear muffs are now accoutrement her eyes.
10:30- Goldie Hawn is now assault her own earlobe.
10:45- Time for Best Picture! The approval goes to...Natalie Portman? But she's an actress, not a movie. No one is acclaim how affected this is. The camera cuts to Mila Kunis who's acid some knives below her table. Life bold art at The Golden Globes.
11:00- The stars alpha to go home. There's a connected alternation of bouncing dresses and fucked up hair abolishment the red carpet. Kirstie Alley has altogether block all over face even acceptance altogether block wasn't served at The Globes. Everyone is adored and sad and adored and sad. Anyone remarks, "How could something so admirable accessory so ugly?" and we ahead he's applicable to the accessory of all the celebrities, but we can't be sure. We can never be sure.
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