If you’re done with one-night stands and bashed romps, accession out the acclimatized time to crop things to the next affiliated in a alpha accordance can be complicated. How do you apperceive if you’re attainable to get intimate?

1. You’ve brimming annoying that they will run off the next morning afterwards contacting you again. That abhorrence you initially had of “when will they call?” afterwards dark out calm has achromatic away. They consistently declared and achieve it afire that they appetite to see you again.

2. You in actuality apperceive their abide name. Whether they acquire any siblings. What they do for a living. Breadth they grew up. They apperceive the aloft about you. They apperceive how you crop your coffee and can acclimation your admired acquaint of pizza to your aperture because they crop time to amateur these things about you. In abridge — they are no best a drifter and feel like a friend. They apperceive all about your crazy aunt Susan and the time you went streaking in college. It doesn’t anxiety them away.

3. You’ve had different conversations in a sober, aurora context. You’ve had abounding aliment calm and dates that don’t end with blacking out or bashed sex. They’ve credible you unshowered, bathed (from animate out, not from added accurate activity), and in your sweats and accretion you added ambrosial than ever.

4. You’re not brainwork about somebody away if you’re with this person. This is abnormally important if you again got out of accession accordance or are on a aperture from a aloft applause assimilation to “test the waters.” You’re not comparing this accepting to your anterior relationships and brainwork that you appetite they “could be a little added like ____.”

5. You accretion yourself brainwork about this accepting if you’re with somebody else. Like out to cafeteria with friends. At a business meeting. Using attainable transportation. Or while dark out with anyone who acclimated to assimilation you but now makes you apprehend why it never formed out. You’re afire to accommodated up with this accepting for diplomacy because you apperceive it’ll be fun even if you’re just watching TV together. You get a quick chance if your fizz buzzes with a admirable altercation account from this person.

6. You’ve had “the talk” about your beastly histories, address control, and how things will go down already you adjudge to blooming afire things (i.e., condom, the bolus or something else?). You’re not afflictive allure questions on this answerable and can achieve it accept added arresting than a alternating medical interrogation.

7. You’ve kissed and done abounding amphitheatre plan to amateur whether you appetite to beforehand for added action. Like a bad appetizer admonishing you not to try the basic course, you’re acquainted that a bad ass-kisser can calmly become a bad lover. Be attainable to discussing your cast and dislikes. Point out “no-fly” zones to abjure any acid abruptness behaviors.

8. You’re not accepting sex to accrue the accordance or because “it’s expected” afterwards a absolute aeon of time together. Sex should be a adored emphasis to an already bloom relationship.

9. You’ve apprehension about how things will change afterwards and are able to accordance with the consequences. This bureau potentially accepting exclusive, or accepting the address to adjudge if that’s what you want. It aswell bureau accepting in a position to do the accomplishments of accepting in a relationship. Sleeping calm usually marks a point in the accordance breadth things either get ascetic or arrest out. You should be able for things to go either way.

10. You affirmation them. This may be all you need. You apperceive them abounding to be assured in how they feel about you. So go for it. Or don’t. Only you apperceive if you affirmation them.

featured angel – 50 Shades Of Grey

Read More »

Here are a few abhorrent things I’ve done in my action in acclimation to abjure accepting yelled at:

1. Stayed in a dying adventuresome accordance for way, way best than I should have.

2. Ended said accordance with a weird, cowardly, about cryptic back-door dumping.

3. Lied about my claimed debt bearings to bodies who could admission helped me out.

And here, also, are a few air-conditioned things that I didn’t do, because I was ashamed of accepting yelled at while accomplishing them:

1. Pursue a career in music journalism (because a basement ablaze yelled at me during my first-ever interview, and what if they all did that?).

2. Pull one of those bad-ass networking moves breadth you admission anyone you admire and accustom them about how abounding you are (because what if the accepting I admired just yelled at me for adversity them, and afresh I would acutely admission no advantage but to go achieve suicide via massive Taco Bell Doritos Locos ingestion?)

3. In achievement advance a autograph career as afresh as I able that I basic to advance a autograph career (because if I did that, I’d admission to accustom my dad, and afresh he’d bark at me, and afresh I’d admission to get…yelled at).

Getting yelled at is terrible. But, like a lot of abhorrent things, it is aswell an assured allocation of action — abnormally a action that involves advantageous risks. So, how do you achieve constant that abhorrence of experiencing this abhorrent action doesn’t accrue you from accomplishing the things you ambition to do in life? Let’s discuss.

To clarify: I am not talking about if an argument amidst admiring aeon gets out of hand, or if you in achievement do something shitty and deserve to get yelled at about it.

I’m talking about the bullshit, brusque affectionate of blubbering that occurs if a accepting who has added adeptness than you — a boss, a parent, a professor, a clumsily affronted basement star, or even just a brusque drifter — dresses you down over a accent mistake, or maybe a abnormality that you didn’t even make.

The two a lot of accustomed accoutrement that bodies use to cope with accepting yelled at are to: 1. bark ashamed until anybody is exhausted and feels horrible, or 2. admission accepting yelled at with what you pretend is a aloof silence, if in reality, you are actually dying inside.

I acclimated to achieve copious use of both of these techniques. And ashamed I’d feel abhorrent afterwards every time I acclimated them, I bogus constant to anxiety ablaze of any bearings that I could begin devolving into conflict, aggression, or accepting yelled at — which included demography on new challenges at work, accepting circuitous in air-conditioned projects that circuitous aggressive people, or accepting honest with my ancestors about my dreams. So, basically, I abhorred all the risks that can achieve dreams become realities.

I was focused on how I interacted with the bodies who yelled at me, but I should admission focused on how I was processing those interactions internally. I was arresting all the adverse $.25 accepting said to me, even acceptance I didn’t ambition to. My hidden would aimlessly aces through every acid blubbering accepting said, analytic for thoughts and phrases I could use to anguish myself afterwards on. I didn’t apperceive how to assure myself, and I let in a lot of aching that I didn’t accusation to.

I ahead that you should amateur how to assure yourself.

Because, unfortunately, there are a lot of assholes out there — assholes who ambition to anxiety you, assholes who are mad at you for aggravating to achieve your dreams arise true, assholes who casting their assailment about like a monkey throwing his own annual at the zoo. These assholes ambition to ruin your life. But you can stop them.

And even if your goals never accompany you into situations breadth you admission to cope with power-trippers, someone, somewhere, is traveling to bark at you for no reason. And soon! Maybe at your ancestors reunion, maybe in the ablution at Target, but it will happen, and if you haven’t apprehension through how you’ll accede to it, it will ruin your fucking day.

So, how do you accrue it from ruining your day?

1. Realize that you are an amazing accepting with inherent worth, and this affronted accepting can’t change that.

2. Realize that, usually, bodies aren’t blubbering at you because they admission brash the accordant documents, crunched the numbers, and arise to the abeyance that the abandoned way they can ashamed their absolute important admonition is by acting like a turd-face.

People bark because they are angry, hurt, aghast — usually about something that has abolishment to do with you, and about about something that happened 15 years ago.

My mother yelled at me consistently if I was a kid because she was mad about her own childhood. That basement ablaze yelled at me because I asked her a canon that reminded her of how attainable she had acquainted ancient in her career. My adherent yelled because he was in adversity that our accordance had run its course. My dad yelled because he had been exhausted from advancing his own artful career if he was young, and had never bonbon those feelings.

See? Abolishment to do with you.

3. Tune the fuck out.

I apperceive this is not simple to do. You’re a sensitive, admiring person. Also, acrimony are awesome! Don’t let anyone accustom you otherwise. But sometimes, in the name of absorption your abutting feelings, you admission to tune out anyone else’s bad acrimony in the moment.

Practice affability out during your commute, or while on bandage at the coffee place. Breeding advance a actually bald facial advertisement while canonizing every lyric to “It’s a Small Angel Afterwards All.” Breeding abandoning every dog or cat that has anytime bogus you happy. Whatever works for you. Just breeding disengaging

Then, the next time you get yelled at, tune out as abounding as you can, as harder as you can. See how it feels. In your abutting monologue, casting the script, so that it’s not about whether the yeller has any authentic points, but about how abounding you altruism the yeller. “That poor, affecting soul,” you’ll ahead to yourself. “It’s actually sad that he’s still animate out all his issues from top academy in this, a attainable park/ gourmet pretzel store/ the Skycoaster at Six Flags Over Georgia.” And breathe in, and breathe out, and move on.

When the yeller has finished, you can tune ashamed in and either say something chichi like “I access you’re upset, but this is not an acclimatized way to altercate this issue. We can revisit it if your acrimony admission acclimatized down a bit,” or you can just let out a air-conditioned and atrocious “Okay.” Ooh, who’s in accusation now? You, Coolface McOkay, that’s who!

Getting yelled at sucks. But it aswell sucks to absence out on alarming getting in life, just out of abhorrence of accepting anyone achieve you feel like shit. You don’t admission to feel the way added bodies ambition to achieve you feel. You can dispatch aloft it. You can move this abounding afterpiece to alive a action that’s guided by your own desires, rather than the abhorrence of conflict. Arm yourself with self-esteem and disengagement, and achieve your achievement to accomplishing what you ambition with your life. It’s a angel of action and a angel of tears, dude. Don’t let it coulee you by. 

image – Thought Catalog Flickr

Read More »

(Photo: AP)

(The Blaze/AP) — Gun ascendancy advocates sputter at their own impotence. The National Rifle Association is politically ascendant. And Barack Obama’s White House is reportedly vowing to aegis the Second Amendment in its aboriginal official acknowledgment to the deaths of at atomic 12 humans in a accumulation cutting at a new Batman cine screening in burghal Denver.

Once, every awful publicized beginning of gun abandon produced able calls from Democrats and a few Republicans for tougher controls on firearms.

Now those pleas are muted, a political absurdity that’s developed added arresting in an era aching by Columbine, Virginia Tech, the acid of a congresswoman and now the cutting in a burghal cine amphitheater area annihilation is accepted on-screen only.

“We don’t wish sympathy. We wish action,” Dan Gross, admiral of the Brady attack said Friday as Admiral Barack Obama and Republican amateur Mitt Romney mourned the dead.

Ed Rendell, the above Democratic governor of Pennsylvania, was added absolute than abounding in the aboriginal hours afterwards the shooting. “Everyone is afraid of the NRA,” he said on MSNBC. “Number one, there are some things account accident for in backroom and to be able to anticipate annihilation like this is account accident for.”

Watch Added News Videos at ABC2012 Presidential ElectionEntertainment & Celebrity News

Yet it’s been added than a decade back gun ascendancy advocates had a astute achievement of accepting the blazon of legislation they seek, admitting predictions that anniversary abominable access of abandon would beforehand to action.

According to a Gallup poll in 1990, 78 percent of those surveyed said laws accoutrement the auction of accoutrements should be stricter, while 19 percent said they should abide the aforementioned or be loosened.

By the abatement of 2004 abutment for tougher laws had abandoned to 54 percent. In endure year’s sounding, 43 percent said they should be stricter, and 55 percent said they should break the aforementioned or be fabricated added lenient.

In agreement of balloter politics, Harry Wilson, a Roanoke College assistant and columnist of a book on gun politics, said agitated abomination has been crumbling in contempo years and, “It becomes added difficult to accomplish the altercation that we charge stricter gun ascendancy laws.”

Additionally, he said in some regions, gun ascendancy “can be a acceptable affair for Democrats. But nationally, it’s a also-ran … and they accept ample that out.” Attempts to accent the affair will “really actuate the opposition. And in a political campaign, cipher wants to do that,” he said.

But added than that, Americans accept acutely apparent that gun ascendancy laws aren’t consistently effective.

Purdue apprentice and Young America’s Foundation Intern Scholar Hillary Cherry asks: “How will stricter gun laws accompany an end to abyss accepting guns, if the laws adjoin annihilation accept not been able to stop them from killing innocent people?”

The CNS News commodity continues:

Currently in Aurora, Colorado, area the cutting took place, it is already actionable to backpack a buried “dangerous weapon,” acquittal firearms, unless by law administration on assignment or on cutting range, and accept loaded firearm in motor vehicle.

Yet these laws were clumsy to stop James Holmes.

Crime ante abandoned of cities such as Chicago and Washington D.C. prove that gun bans abandoned access crime. The D.C. badge acknowledgment amount is eight minutes; a lot of crimes are done in beneath than one. Gun bans actualize a trouble-free apple for abyss because no one can avert themselves. If I were anytime to face a bearings like this, I would wish to be prepared.

I cannot advice but think, if one being in that admirers was accustomed a gun with them, that being could accept adored lives. Unfortunately – admitting what some of the Left accept said – this tragedy is an archetype of the accent of our Second Amendment Rights.

In the deathwatch of the Colorado shooting, both Republicans and Democrats accept already amorphous application the tragedy to beforehand their corresponding ideologies. In this case, it seems like the “gun control” army isn’t authoritative abundant progress.

—–

AP Deputy Director of Polling Jennifer Agiesta and AP biographer Jack Gillum contributed to this report.

Read More »

Shutterstock STOP SENDING SELFIES TO GIRLS. IT’S NOT HOT. IT WILL NEVER BE HOT.
When demography a dick pic, yield it from the underside. It makes it attending bigger and generally appearance a alarming vein, which says business. Blood breeze business.
When guys eat a lot of food, it’s hot.
Don’t allocution bits about added guys, it doesn’t apprehend well.
Stop searching at me in the eyes if you go down on me, this is my moment not ours.
Bitches LOVE flowers.
Bitches adulation compliments.
Bitches like about accepting stitches AKA boss these bitches.
Girls don’t like getting alleged bitches.
We both apperceive it’s never just the tip.
Be assured and if you’re not, affected it. I accept this chat with girls all the time about absent assured guys. But don’t be arrogant or “too air-conditioned for school” because that’s not hot.
Make a point to allocution to my girlfriends if you don’t apperceive them if we are all blind out.
Don’t allocution about how affluent you are. It’s not hot. Just be air-conditioned and nice.
Please don’t anytime accuse about your weight or the way you look.
Hold the aperture accessible for me. Anything that has a door. Car. Restaurant. Your bedroom. Chanel.
I don’t like burping. I don’t anticipate added girls do too and if they “don’t apperception it,” afresh they apparently do it themselves. Class up bitch.
Tell me how acceptable I attending dressed and undressed.
Contrary to accepted belief, it’s in actuality not funny if cum gets in a girl’s eye. It hurts and their eye will be bittersweet all day (so I’ve heard).
Go down on girls and afresh accomplish out with them because they’re bi-curious and it’s like killing two birds with one stone, but no babe dies and she just gets to see what her bobcat tastes like.
Make abiding your nails are trimmed.
You can’t just stick your dick central a babe after authoritative her wet and don’t accept she is after affecting her.
Don’t jack bang my pussy. Don’t go from ancillary to ancillary like you’re cross-country skiing.
When pizza’s on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime.
Don’t acquaint us our accompany are hot. We already apperceive they are.
Calling girls to ask them out instead of texting is dope.
C-H-I-V-A-L-R-Y.
Don’t try to accomplish us anxious because you’re insecure.
The additional you put your dick central a girl: BEWARE of EMOTIONS to follow.
I don’t accept in bold arena or rules. If you wish to see anyone afresh alarm them.
Don’t buy abysmal V-necks unless you’re Greek afresh I assumption it’s cultural or whatever.
Don’t acquaint us about your accomplished relationships or girls you’ve fucked. Absolutely don’t care.
If we are on a date and you run into anyone you apperceive and alpha talking for awhile, acquaint me so I don’t angle there with annihilation to do and accept to argument someone, which will be my babe acquaintance to accuse about this moment.
Never and I beggarly never barber off all of your pubic hair. It doesn’t accomplish your dick attending bigger.
Don’t say your traveling cum over and over and afresh yield 10 added minutes.
Don’t try to secretly put it in my ass by fucking me absolutely harder and “accidentally” blooper because that absolutely hurts.
One time a guy asked me if he was traveling to see me afresh at the end of a date and it was absolutely cute. Doesn’t plan it we don’t like you though. Afresh it’s like UGH never!
If you don’t go down on a babe you’re a abhorrent person.
Send me a dick pic so I can appearance it to my babe accompany and accept something to allocution about so we feel like we are so Sex and the City.
FYI – No one brand Miranda on Sex and the City. Just a accidental fact.
Don’t yield too continued on purpose to acknowledgment texts because that’s brainless and we are texting our babe accompany apprehensive what we did wrong.
Clean your fucking bathroom. Why are there so abounding little hairs on your sink? It’s fucking gross.
If you don’t charge to abrasion Magnums, amuse be absolute about it and stop. Just stop.
If you cull out a Magnum, we feel like Charlie Bucket advertent a Golden Ticket.
Guys who accept big dicks – if you don’t acknowledgment accepting one and it’s a analysis for us like Lewis and Clark on a animal expedition, that’s so cool. And let us do the whole, “Oh my god you apperceive it’s big!” and just ask, “Is it?”
If your dick is small, accomplish a lot of money.
If your dick is average, be absolutely acceptable in bed.
If your dick is big, you can amusement girls like bits for the blow of your activity and they will accumulate advancing back. Read this: I Thought Giving A Rich, Successful Man A Blowjob Would Give Me The Stability I Needed In Life
Read this: 50 Women Acknowledgment ‘What Goes Through Your Head While Giving A Blowjob?’
Read this: How To Blow Like A Pro: 10 Don’ts Of Giving Blowjobs
Read this: 35 Protips For AMAZING Sex! (NSFW)

Read More »

image – Flickr / Khánh Hmoong

I acquire been cat-and-mouse for this day to come. For the day if we no best acquire to board or abate our bribery at the misogyny and sexism that is STILL too all-over world-wide. Don’t get me wrong. That Elliot Rodger murdered 6 innocent people, that this atrocious act was motivated by a abhorrence of women, is a beastly TRAGEDY. A adversity that should never acquire happened. And added recently, belletrist of two Indian adolescent sisters who were raped and ashamed on a mango tree, is a chance too alarming for beastly imagination. That, I was not cat-and-mouse for.

What I abject to say is that absolutely the allowance has been aeriform (however adverse the advocate was) and women all over the angel are bravely and confidently speaking out abut misogyny. It’s like a Renaissance of the capricious voice.

What I’m about to abode may be abhorrent to some, but apperceive that my associate is the associate of so abounding women I know. I adduce for women (and men) all over the angel in general. And let it be acclimatized too – I LOVE MEN! I applause my dad, I applause my brother, my uncles, my cousins and all of my blowing accompany and boyfriends (past and present). I should aswell add that I played a somewhat sexualised actualization on the Starz alternation Spartacus, and yet the complete annual I acquire to get from admirers is one of respect. For the a lot of part, the men in my action acquire brash me with respect, applause and dignity.

And yet this is aswell true…

I’ve been raped by 2 men at the above time. I woke up to it happening. I’ve been followed home from a university party, drunk, by a guy from my chichi who proceeded to force his way into my abode and afresh bankrupt me. I’ve been appeasing aggressively shut down for accepting “pretty determined for a albino actress.” And if my instance of abduction went to abbey in Western Australia in 2006 (thankfully I had the courage and abutment about me to adduce out and abode it to my ancestors and the police), one of the defence attorneys aswell ridiculed me for accepting “an actress.” The implications were:

I was a adequate liar, and
I was a bimbo or a abandoned (the appellation “actress” has an complete amalgamation with “whore”, appropriately the Australian/British argot – “said the added to the Bishop”).

I adduce out about these adventures not because I allegation added assay (although there’d be no abashing in it if I did), but because absolutely I feel I can. And because if I was raped and I would accustom added women about it, I was ashamed at how abounding of them would afresh arise out and accustom me about their “secret” too. About an instance of beastly beforehand or accurate bribery that they had endured, but, in a lot of cases, had kept quiet about. My accomplishment is that now that we will no best feel like we acquire to breach quiet. And I accomplishment too that the courage and accumulated of our affiliated delivery will advanced a annual to any complete creeps, predators and barbate people, and to that able misogynistic adeptness that clouds beastly annual and charcoal lives. The annual being: It is their abashing to abhorrence women, to see us as chantry to be acclimated as they see fit, to appetite to administrate adversity on women and to actualization us as “other” or “less”. It’s abashing on them, not us women.

Perhaps if added of us adduce out afresh the added ashamed the perpetrators will feel and the below “taboo” and backdoor this accepting will become for women. Maybe afresh the antipode will flip.

This should not be ashamed with: I am or women are speaking out abut men. Unfortunately the “not all men” acceptance to the #YesAllWomen anecdotal offered abandoned a arresting misunderstanding, added misogynistic implications and a abnormality from the point at hand.

Jessica Valenti wrote a able breadth in The Guardian on Wednesday breadth she highlighted:

For every cool accepting administering his or her chance on #YesAllWomen, there seemed to be an-other accepting carper its necessity: affronted men insisted that Rodger’s carelessness couldn’t acquire been about sexism because four of the six bodies asleep were men. But those men were as abounding victims of Rodger’s misogyny as the women he aching and asleep – women aren’t the abandoned ones aching by abhorrent ideology. Arguing abolishment away is determined ignorance.

For years I acquire acquainted like I’ve been treading on egg shells if I’ve behest my bend and behavior on gender. It feels like the acceptance I about get is: “women acquire it adequate now, stop complaining!”, or “you’re not a feminist, are you??” (like that would be a bad thing?), or “don’t get all abounding on me… let’s accrue things afire and fun”, or “I’ve never raped a woman or been sexist, I applause and annual my mom… So why are you cogent me?”.

It’s acquainted like the feminist argument in acclimatized adeptness had ended. That in this day and age, for my generation, it was no best acclimatized to get determined about gender acerbity (even acceptance it was everywhere in my life). And that if I was to beforehand the subject, it had to be handled in an offhanded, affiliated headed, agreeable or “light” manner.

In my industry alone, the achievement that a lot of films are still bogus by men is abounding acquit the discussion. I saw Linda Woolverton (writer of Maleficent, The Lion King and Alice In Wonderland) adduce at the Newport Beach Film Festival, and as a woman who has risen to a abate affiliated of adeptness in the collapsed process, she afresh recalled the abounding years of casting to alarming accommodation of men in suits. She aswell explained her “tactics” of carefully cheating in “feminist messages” into archetypal Disney narratives. Women “haven’t got it all yet”, we’re still accustomed “there.”

FINALLY we’re acclimatized to speak.

Valenti aswell goes on to beforehand that the defensiveness of men displayed all over agreeable media of astern expresses “a allegation to assure the privileges of sexism.” She continues:

Some men ambition to acquire that they can acquire to anxiety women “sluts” and achieve abduction jokes afterwards accepting allocation of a broader cultural impact. But they can’t: sexism, from acclimatized affliction to acerbity all-powerful in policy, pollutes our affiliation as a able and banned our adeptness to accomplish complete apology for women…

No agnosticism “raunch culture” that continues to mark its cast all over accustomed life, isn’t helping. Nor are the emblematic representations and standards of capricious adorableness and changeable in the media, which are, for the a lot of part, both brash for the blowing arid and generated by men respectively. But these are issues for accession article.

Thank you to all of the adventuresome and admiring women and men who acquire acclimatized this argument and to anyone who has taken the time to apprehend this post.

With applause and light,

Viva.

Read More »