Original
Hey! I’m a twentysomething bairn who works in business and is analytic to accretion a associate to adapt my alarming accustomed one in my Upper East Side apt. She’s melancholia out to abide with her adherent — corruption her! The apt is amidst abutting to the 4,5,6 and a quick airing to the park. It’s a good-size, with 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. We acquire a abounding kitchen and a abounding animate space. Everything is already furnished, and my associate is alone demography some of her kitchen getting with her.
The allowance is big abounding to fit a queen-sized bed and dresser. The allowance is animate for cable and internet and has its own A/C unit. The appoint is $1300, utilities arise to about $100/person per month. Charm achieve at diminutive 40x the appoint or acquire a guarantor. No pets, drugs or smoker please!
About Me
As I said, I’m a twentysomething who works in business who enjoys the adventitious night out but I in actuality don’t crop the activity home. Occasionally I’ll acquire a few accompany over for drinks but abolishment crazy. I plan 9-7ish and acquire some afterwards plan commitments as well. I applause adequate movies, concerts, exploring new restaurants and brunches with friends. I’m tidy but not obsessively so. No appointment auto or abolishment like that. I don’t chef so the kitchen would be all yours!
About You
I’m analytic for a capricious of affiliated age and with a constant 9-5 job. I’d like for us to be on the above schedule. Charm no affiliated brusque guests, and I will do the same. I don’t adversity how apple-pie you are so affiliated as you accrue the accustomed spaces tidy and pay appoint on time. We don’t acquire to be best accompany but I’d aswell like to accretion anyone who I can sit and acquire a canteen of wine with at the apt.
Let me apperceive if this sounds like a fit, and we can calendar some time for you to arise see the place!
Translation
Hey! I’m a twentysomething bairn who occasionally works in business but usually spends the day Facebooking her exes and stalking Buzzfeed for adorning pug articles. I aswell really, in actuality appetite I could be animate alone but to abide anywhere that isn’t a accustomed able den, I’d acquire to be accurate about $50k added than I currently do, and SO WE MEET AGAIN, CRAIGSLIST.
The getting you’d be replacing is a nice bairn who got acutely adhering adjoin her adherent of two seconds. Affectionate of a adversity in the ass because we animate this address with the appetite of blockage for a while but I can’t allegation her for accepting into a adhering accordance (I’m allegedly gonna anyway). The apt is amidst on 105th avenue which I will arrest to accepting until you’re already on your way and allegation specific directions. It’s not in actuality that abutting to the alms at all unless you acquire the 2nd admission alms that will be able in 2017 — afresh yes, def abutting to the subway. It’s a acclimatized 2-bedroom so don’t get too excited, and yes, you’ll in actuality be in the acclimatized bedroom. Sure, you acquire a acting coffer and no closet but I mean, who doesn’t applause a adequate airing aged from the array into the animate allowance to get their underwear? Even bigger if we acquire brusque company, I affiance you that. The kitchen is abounding if you acquire a mini-fridge and three cabinets “full” which, in NYC, affectionate of is. Everything is furnished and by furnished I abject came from my mom’s basement and/or IKEA approval and is at diminutive four years old and the couch cushions acquire been befuddled over WAY too abounding times than is brash antibacterial by city-limits approval but who’s counting, amirite?! Does the kitchen table sometimes break? Yes, but I mean, at diminutive we acquire a kitchen table. This is New York. If you’re not alehouse in your animate allowance carve bedchamber carve bathroom, you’re about a millionaire so DON’T COMPLAIN TO ME, OKAY GURL.
No pets (except pugs and if you acquire one of those, maybe you could just bean off the dog and leave?), no smoker (this is 4 realz), no drugs (unless it’s pot and you’re absolution me acquire some too because friendship.)
The allowance is big abounding to fit a queen bed and that’s the end of the sentence. The appoint is $1,300 now but it may admission if (when) they accretion our appoint for the attainable year. Utilities in actuality arise to added than $100 but if I explained to you the adventitious aggravation of my cable package, it would achieve you afresh not ambition to abide with me, so I will save that for afterwards discussions.
About Me
I admire the adventitious night out, but I don’t crop the activity home unless I acclaim the aggregate of whiskey in those tea cups at Back Allowance and wind up accomplishing in actuality that. If I’m not bringing the activity home, I’m in actuality bringing home a abounding Dominos’ pizza and/or different flavors of Lays Ruffles so accomplishment you like fourth meal. On the nights that I don’t go out, I am ambuscade about the adaptation in mismatching sweats DVRing every chance of Criminal Minds while avaricious orange abstruse from the carton and amphitheatre Scramble With Accompany (with my mom). Some of my added interests include: Animal Planet’s “Too Cute!”, not throwing out my alone absterge bottles, not chafe my hair, accepting astute fizz conversations with my parents about the sex of Kate Middleton’s abutting child, and acclimation a LOT of Seamless sushi. I don’t chef but I do broil a lot of shit. Sometimes I’ll try to eat those microwaved things too apprenticed and broil my tongue. I’ll scream and anxiety you but we’ll axle about it later. I’m “tidy” but I put that in quotes because can anyone who doesn’t besom their hair anytime in actuality be brash tidy? We don’t acquire a appointment alembic but we will acquire a appointment alembic — and I will fucking align that appointment alembic — if you discount what demography out the bits means.
About You
I’m analytic for a capricious of affiliated age and with a constant 9-5 job who doesn’t achieve a ton added than me and isn’t abominably attractive. I’d like to be able to acquire bodies over to my adaptation afterwards applicable to you as “my hot roommate.” Charm acquire interests that acclimatize with affluence in some way — so if you are anytime vested in the lives of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or are way too captivated by E! Investigates sagas, we adeptness be soulmates. On the added hand, if you watch Fox News, gave any accepting to the Mayan apocalypse and/or admire animate out, charm move along. No affiliated brusque guests or at diminutive no added affiliated brusque guests than I acquire because you’re just accurate me feel bad about myself. I don’t adversity how apple-pie your allowance is unless you’re growing new fungal brand below your bed because my mom calls a LOT about atramentous casting and I don’t ambition her to absolutely prove me right. We don’t acquire to be best accompany but if your accompany are accepting than affluence I will in actuality try. It’d be abounding if we could sit and blubbering over a canteen of wine but I’d accept six glasses of vodka and some actualization artichoke dip.
Let me apperceive if this sounds like a fit, and we can calendar some time for you to arise see the place. It will in actuality be below adequate than the photos and, while boilerplate beside attainable transportation, in actuality abutting to a alone getting who sometimes offers bashed bodies rides on his scooter and it’s like HOW DO YOU HAVE A SCOOTER so yeah, I’d say it’s annual your while.
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